Hatred

had the tears rolling down my cheeks...PEACE
amen
- posted by barbara @ 11/26/2006 04:53:00 PM  0 comments

 
11-19-06 6:09 am
Hi darlin' girl. I decided to do Chopra
as in the olden days of wakeful dawns wrestling helplessly
stubbornly . . . reality.

Yes i was wrestling reality and it was a bit of time before I knew i
would not have to die to actually cope with the calamity that was real.
That had taken your life from you, taken you from this planet, from me.


Bekah on the JFMCbillboard.

Calamity. Tragedy. Enormous, and the grief. Pretty much
my grief and I are friends to the end. We be comfortable
together - and if that causes others discomfort so much the
better. This is true for a couple of reasons:

1. You should never be forgotten
2. Perhaps: consciousness raised, understanding approached,
judgment suspended. And not just for me Bekah but for legions
of mothers bereaved as i am a mother bereaved, by an act of
homicide.

So now Bekah - first let me remind you, daughter:
I love you!
Always will - amen

Chopra:
Because the body is so intelligent, it knows of its
complete bonding with Nature, and when it returns home
to Nature, it feels unbounded.

Silliness. my belief: THE BODY is comparable to a pair of jeans,
a dress, shoes - well it is an "ensemble." One we HAVE and wear
during our mortal stints. Bodies die - their owners know
unboundedness. But just for example, your body, Bekah. It lies,
and rots, under a patch of lawn in Rancho Palos Verdes. It is
covered by a shroud, and the last dress you bought yourself is
laid over it. It is kept company by a collection of things -
Grandma Blanche's promise ring, Micah's Hot Wheel,Matt's house key,
Lizzie's blankie. The body's intelligence is lost at death; the
soul's, never.

Your body can certainly be seen as a gift to Nature, but it
will never again be the vehicle for your soul to sally forth in this
world.

So i beg to differ yet again, Chopra - the only intelligence
associated with any body must travel out of that body - boundlessness
is reserved for spirit, for Love. As cat stevens sang,

Lord my body has been a good friend / but i won't need it when i reach
the end


your end came up too soon Bek. i feel, i imagine, i take comfort, MAKE
comfort for myself like a quilt consisting of facts and instances.

i believe what i believe with a certainty that causes me to
want to say i know it. The reality is, at least so far, it is
something that i cannot know. And I'm not looking for proof in
the person of my third grandchild - no matter how much I hope for
a girl! and no matter the size of my wonder and joy should "SHE"
emerge on the next 6th of July...

amen

Bekah - love you forever xxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooo
mom

bekah made herself a tombstone in about 6th grade
- posted by barbara @ 11/19/2006 08:32:00 AM  0 comments

 
OpEdNews Exclusive
Clear Evidence 2006 Congressional Elections Hacked
OpEdNews Exclusive
Clear Evidence 2006 Congressional Elections Hacked

Can you imagine how much the democrats
must have actually won by to have overcome
their cheating???

talk about a mandate...wow. i think gw ought
to resign before he is really embarrassed, disgraced,
arrested, convicted, [if there was really any
justice in this world] waterboarded, and forced
to spill the truth about his daddy and his vp and
all the murderous greedy powermongering sobs who
have come so goddamn close to stealing the united
states of America from its own citizenry.

wow. check out DU. the evidence is so there, so
unequivocal. i swear to gawd this is the reason
gw was surprised the republicans lost! he thought
the fix was in, one more time. but he has done
SUCH a pisspoor job that all the stolen votes they
could muster could not save the presidents men.

whew. thankfully.

PEACE. amen
- posted by barbara @ 11/18/2006 12:14:00 AM  0 comments

 
an encounter with a member of the air force
I live fairly close to the Los Angeles Air Force Base.
A couple of days ago while walking my chihuahua (wearing
a knee-length nightgown, jeans, and a sweatshirt), i crossed
paths with a young woman wearing camouflage fatigues. Think
they call them fatigues.

Anyway. I stopped and asked her, "Are you in the military?"
By the time we parted ways, I saw that her uniform identified
her as Air Force, but as ignorant as I am, I don't think I
expected that particular uniform to belong to someone in
the Air Force. She said "yes."

"Have you been overseas?"

"Not yet." She was blond, beautiful, petite, and omigawd
too young to die...I said, "Maybe it will end before you
have to go." This was like Monday, I think - post election,
definitely.

"Probably early next year, maybe January," she said.

I told her my son was lucky, "He got kicked out of
the Navy before he had to go." (Last October my now
23-year-old son tested positive for marijuana in one
of the two branches that still hold to a zero tolerance
policy: The Navy).

She said, "I would definitely consider that lucky."

Walking on I found myself in tears, then wondering if i should
run after her and tell her i know where she can get some dope!
then i thought how dire the military situations is; if she was
tested and came up positive, they'd probably just shove her into
the Army and deploy her straight away to the war zone.

It was a short encounter, but i found it meaningful. This was an
active duty member of the military and it was clear to me that
she recognizes the wrongness of the war in Iraq.

Gawd i hope she'll be okay. why can't they all be?
- posted by barbara @ 11/17/2006 11:40:00 PM  0 comments

 
Golden Drain Award Goes to Donald Rumsfeld

this is shocking.
i knew they were fleecing the national treasury,
but this is something else again. over 1 TRILLION
dollars worth of missing equipment. employees at
halliburton being told not to worry about expenses
because they had secured a "cost plus" contract -
meaning no matter how much in expenses they submitted,
they would get more than that from you and me. And the
employees apparently took the advice to heart. five
star hotels. one incident is cited here, and you'll
see it on the video, but in case you ain't got the time:
someone at halliburton had a flat tire.

They abandoned the entire vehicle.
- posted by barbara @ 11/12/2006 12:15:00 PM  0 comments

 
The Ultimate Sacrifice

bless them every one and their survivors, and the wounded, and all the victims of this war.

Maybe i never shared this before. I know i have shared that i deplore
war, and that i recognize that there are only two certain
outcomes to war:

death and destruction

but what i may not have noted thus far and will assert now is this:

War is murder by proxy.
- posted by barbara @ 11/11/2006 09:14:00 PM  0 comments

 
mega rant
on Democratic underground there's been some big differences in
opinion regarding whether gw bush should be impeached -
now that we have a congress that
is willing and capable - at least theoretically -
of applying the checks and balances our forefathers
anticipated when these bodies were created. i fall
on the side of impeach, indict, prosecute, convict,
and imprison. One of the posters there offered - i think i read
it right - as an argument against
impeachment, that,
Unfortunately the Republicans have made impeachment
seem partisan.

that innocuous but specious observation kinda - mmmmmmm - inspired me,
i guess. i responded thusly:
that particular argument,

of any and all i've heard or read, is the weakest,
most specious NON-reason to delay or desist from
impeachment. In the first place, it was the fucking
republicans who used impeachment as a political tool
with their impeachment of Clinton - who cheated on his
wife and lied to a grand jury about it.

This administration cheated on each and every one of
us. they strongarmed the election in 2000 and stole it
in 2004. Given the stated objectives and MO outlined by
PNAC, and having spent uber (uber? does that mean a hell
a lot?!) time watching and reading about 911, i am very
nearly convinced at this point that the bushies had a
direct hand in that travesty. If they didn't, they are still
culpable because it happened on their watch, -
the most generous possible explanation is that they
weren't watching. it blows me away how they have managed
to spin, spin, spin so much - they lie as it serves them
and we are supposed to just accept that as business as usual?
At any rate it can hardly be argued that since 911,
the bushies have used that tragedy for more political
capital than i can even believe.

i am so over according those bastards any credibility or
validation whatsoever. this is a rogue, corrupt, criminal,
murderous administration. bereaved mothers and crying orphans
don't care dick about how it will look "politically."

Don't let them get away with any more of that.

their actions in the past 6 years have been terrible,
mind blowing, FATAL There are so fucking many outrages that have been perpetrated by this administration it is
staggering. They disseminated false and misleading information
to wage a war of aggression, costing thousands upon thousands
of people their lives, health, families, wherewithal...when
their shenanigans were publicized, this administration committed
treason when they outed a covert CIA operative simply for retaliation.

the energy policy was written behind closed doors by these greedy
murderous bastards and as with the medicare prescription program,
who knows how many issues relating to the environment, even the
goddam hiring practices in DC, they set it all up to enrich themselves
at the expense of others - the citizens of Iraq, the citizens of
the United States. Every goddam thing they do appears to be designed
to line the pockets of some other bushie or another.

no-bid contracts in iraq and post katrina. and still the people
can't go home. The iraqis, their homes are rubble the infrastructure
flattened. war is their lifestyle. the soldiers - thousands coming
back minus arms and legs and minds...suddenly the US in war is
peopled with monsters, who torture degrade and torment prisoners -
some of whom, possibly very many of whom, are innocent of any
wrongdoing. Thousands more coming home in a casket - as
the death toll rises and rises.

there is more, so much more. Remember the collapse in the coal
mine? the coal mine that had been cited for safety violations
repeatedly - but then the bushies put one of their own, an
executive with some huge coal mining corporation - into office
in charge of mine worker safety - which meant the safety of those
men did not mean SQUAT anymore.

they died, really dead, because of this administration.

i'm thinking about whistleblowers whose lives have been disrupted
or ruined because they exhibited a conscience in the presence
of this administration's hubris. their sociopathic methodical
gutting of the constitution...the wiretaps on american citizens
even while in public gw is claiming "these require a warrant.
nothing has changed."

but so much has changed, and the cost has been so great - i'm
talking just people and their lives. the money's something else
again but the only people who are going to come out smelling
sweet behind their financial shenanigans apparently are those
"elite" republicans - you know, the bushies "base."

cindy sheehan's thought crime, being roughed up and thrown
into jail for wearing a t-shirt that displayed the number
of americans killed in iraq since gw first committed
that particular crime.

This is what has gone on, and it needs to be disseminated
far and wide and often. i do believe that there is a
really well researched and annotated thread somewhere
right here on DU that is fairly comprehensive with regard
to the outrage upon outrage, crime on crime, scandal after
scandal, that is the story of the gw bush administration.
And Rolling Stone magazine's article is quite good at
explicating how much influence this administration has
had with the formerly republican congress. they have been
getting away with murder both figuratively and literally
and they cannot be gone soon enough.

i think i've blogged about just about each crime cited above, but i am
way too tired - and gotta bathe, and go to the bank, and maybe covina - to
spice the rant up.

probably it won't even be read. it was good to write it anyhow. but if
you do, and you want or would like to see what the hell i am talking
about here or there, leave a message. i'll do the virtual legwork if
i know that that someone somewhere will take the time to click on the link.

:)
- posted by barbara @ 11/11/2006 01:24:00 PM  0 comments

 
finally figgered how to share a video
Free Hugs ReUppies


get ready for more.

dontcha just love the web?

aren't ya just jazzed that the rebubs are out of power?
now we JUST MIGHT see a couple checks. an undoubtedly
slow climb to balance: the balance that makes a
democracy work. maybe, maybe, before i die, i will
see some justice upon the planet.

and oh yeah! YEAH!!!!



my son's girlfriend's first ultrasound was yesterday. She'd
been somewhat irregular; her due date was adjusted. To June 22,
the early date, and July 6, the last date.

Ergo, if she has not given birth by the baby' Auntie Bekah's
27th birthday on July 6, 2007, she will on that day,
by inducement.

How's that for a sign from the other side?



i love my daughter so much. Please comment, should you
read this: can you understand that? that even though
she died, was killed, 13 days after turning 21, my
daughter finds ways. She finds ways.

so if i am crazy so be it. i do not think i am. i think -no,
i know, that as a mother in this life i have been blessed even
more than i was cursed. the blessing of bekah has at times
been swamped by the tragedy of her premature death at the
hands of a stranger. but the blessing is and was and continues
to be so huge, so real, so manifest and demonstrated in my
life that plods along in the body of this ain't-getting-any-younger-
poor-single-bereaved-lonely-tired-sore- but still!
with hope in her, me.

amen.


- posted by barbara @ 11/10/2006 10:36:00 PM  0 comments

 
Lawndale driver gets nearly 28 years in deadly crash case
Lawndale driver gets nearly 28 years in deadly crash case

Yet another news story that fairly screams,
"your daughter was just chopped linver"
to me.

Understand. The sentence is fair. What is NOT fair
and continues to burn bitterness into my soul is
the four years Bekah's murderer was sentenced to.

four years. she did 2 years and change. and my
daughter is NOT, nor was she EVER, chopped liver.


need i say more? possibly not. but rest assured
i will say more, and over and over, because this
keeps happening and who has a clue about how to
rectify it? Justice is a joke in this world,
these days.

Some people even say that the murderous
criminal AKA the POTUS, gwbush, should not
be impeached. not. eh.

harder to blog these days. i have such
straight and honorable priorities, but no
vitamins. I work all day, walk, ride the bus,
ride Rory do your homework do your homework
do it do it do it [that's my homework, riding
Rory to do his].

it's not a bad life. but it goes too fast. i for
sure gotta meet up with trader darwin ASAP.

in the good news dept, YEAH DEMOCRATS - we might
be on the way to getting our country back. let's all
work on , ok? ok

peace out. amen
- posted by barbara @ 11/09/2006 06:58:00 PM  0 comments

 
Justice For Murdered Children
Justice For Murdered Children
check out the covina billboard - there's my girl
- posted by barbara @ 11/03/2006 07:21:00 PM  0 comments