Wednesday, April 06, 2005
laughing
Posted by Hello
I had a daughter, for 21 years. She was beautiful vital intelligent. She worked she attended school. She anticipated a career in the world of fashion, she partied, quite a bit, she talked, about things that matter, or seem to matter. She laughed, a lot, making a noise that cannot be replicated or described to any degree of accuracy.
The absence of her laugh is black silence, a drape hung between life and death, now and never, ever, or forever; it is a weight hung heavily upon the "ALL" that comprises the balance of this life to and for her mother.
If I could bottle Bekah's laugh. If I could just reCALL it enough to enjoy it for another brief moment. I do recall her face on July 4, 2001 - the last time we celebrated her birthday together, two days before her last birthday, 15 days before her death. Her face slack, given to the laughter, her body weak with laughter...I said, "Bekah, that laugh!"
"I know," she said, "But I can't help it."
A squeak, a squeal, a hyperventilation, horsey, no snorts, she wasn't a pig, no, I give up. Remember the face and how she submitted to the laughing. We enjoyed ourselves so much, so much.
Love you Bekah, forever amen
Mom
XXX OOO
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Comments by: YACCS