Sheriff blames lack of funds, deputy errors in jail killings
baca reminds me of a kid who's left a mess or a crying peer in his wake. responsibility will be delegated anywhere else, upon anyone else, so avidly is it avoided. really kinda makes me wonder how he keeps his job.

mmmmmmmm...sheriff? elected position i believe. okay. i have a sneaking feeling mr. "not my fault" will be looking for different work after the next sheriff election.

i have been in the custody of the los angeles sheriffs for five long and harrowing days. it was 1997, and a nightmare of such proportion that years before suffering the worst possible loss in a mother's life i struggled with a post traumatic stress situation for months after i had theoretically paid my "debt to society [i was arrested for a dui and kept in jail for 5 days due to poverty]."

to the sheriffs the inmates are lowlifes less worthy than a stray dog and i know that because they made it very clear not only to me but to every prisoner i saw them interact with. the day after my arrest i was bused to the los angeles county jail. as i assumed my place in the first of what seemed countless lines of female prisoners who would work their way up the eight or so stories of the "twisted towers" via one line after a few hours in a holding cell followed by more lines and different cells, none of them designed for sleeping, a male deputy remarked upon the passing parade of prisoners, "they all look terrible."

his voice dripped with contempt and he made sure most of the women heard him. and you know i was feeling pretty shitty already? i had been arrested, handcuffed, put into a cell with a door made of metal bars, a door that someone else could open and close. i could not open up and walk out that door.

the realization of that impotence hit early and often, engendering some of the lowest, meanest, bleakest feelings i had experienced to that point in my life. JAILED. the loss of freedom was punishing and my own culpability my guilt were immense and any and all excuses i could make for where i was no longer meant jack shit. because here i was at consequences boulevard and eh it was a fucked up world...i pretty much hated my own guts.

the sheriffs apparently perceived perpetuating and exacerbating inmates' most desolate responses to their incarcerations as either a necessary part of the job, or a fun fringe benefit. like the job description for officers, at least while working in the jail, read like so: "treat inmates worse than shit. make their lives as hard as you can, degrade humiliate dehumanize and verbally torment them at every opportunity. show inmates no kindness; never acknowledge the possibility of human worth in an inmate. do not look upon inmates as people who deserve respect: they are criminals who deserve contempt, and the sheriff's deputies are just the people to give them what they deserve."

well no one promised us bad girls a rose garden after all...they wouldn't call it jail if it was a fucking vacation right? jail's supposed to be miserable right?

i dunno. i thought my inability to walk out the door was punishing already. i was paying consequences that could not be fully explained by any crime i may have [or may not have; remember the assumption of innocence?] committed, i got that...but before those five wretched days in the LA County Jail, it was news to me that the sheriffs represented a whole other consequence, the punishment you got for the crime of being in jail. i suffered the contempt of the sheriffs along with the other women inmates for five days and nights. after the first night, my extended stay in jail was clearly the result of my being a poor, single mother.

processing in as i recall took something like three days of lines on ramps and naps on concrete, after which i was given an address in a "pod" i guess it's called, and a top cot with a light blanket [requests for a second blanket were never acknowledged; nor, in my 5 days in jail, was i ever provided with a bar of soap, shampoo, or toothpaste. i may have managed to ask, once, but that's as far as i got].

on the fifth day i was woken up by the thundering, contempt-dripping voice of another well trained deputy announcing, "the following people have won today's release lottery." it seemed almost a miracle when i heard my name [after five days in jail i had already convinced myself not to wish for a speedy release - how sick is that!?]. i leapt from my cot and beelined it to the door. it was about 6, 6:30 a.m., maybe even earlier than that.

i don't know if he really could have, but the deputy convinced me that if i did not rush up and out to line up at the door of the pod, the door would shut and it would be just tough shit for me. i would be stuck in jail for at least one more day...in my haste i left my papers on the wrong side of the door, and was yelled at while i waited as a woman i'd befriended in there slipped them under the door to me. i barely got my phone number to her, so there would be a ride home once i was outside...by this time it must have been at least three to five minutes after his yelling had woken me.

the trip down the twisted towers took about seven hours [days quicker than the trip up] and about that many lines and holding cells. at about 3 pm five days after being arrested, one excessively ripe and unfortunately changed woman sprinted as fast as her 42-year-old legs would carry her, away from that hellhole and those badass sheriffs, and into the arms of her "true" love [i later learned he had kept his ex-girlfriend in my bedroom and in my bed while i was in jail, hiding her in there as he cared for my 5-year-old son, who was not at the time given the true story of why mommy's not home. but that's a whole other story, not today's].

today's story is about the sheriff who claims he is not responsible for the way the humans inside the jail behave.

according to the daily breeze,inmates in los angeles of late have been behaving as somewhat less than human somewhat more often than usual, based on the skyrocketing murder rate inside. these days the crime of being in jail in los angeles gets the death penalty more often than supportable as inmates kill each other. but that's not the sheriff's fault. no fucking way is baca responsible for what goes on inside the jail he runs.

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the news - may be getting old, for some...i'm still wanting her to be remembered, right now, remembered.
Posted by Hello
- posted by barbara @ 8/07/2004 03:57:00 AM