Grand jury indicts 8 inmates for roles in Lompoc prison riot
The charged inmates are:

• Juan Perez Garcia, 43, who is serving a 210-month sentence for racketeering and narcotics conspiracy.

• Allen Lee Bryson, 29, who is serving a 46-month sentence for being a felon in possession of a firearm.

• Ontoniel Carrillo-Lara, 37, who was serving a two-year sentence for illegally entering the country.

• Jared Michael Cunningham, 24, who is serving a 70-month sentence for bank robbery.

• Raul Melendez, 23, who is serving a 46-month sentence for being a felon in possession of a firearm.

• Juan Manuel Muro-Inclan, 40, who is serving a 77-month sentence for re-entering the country after being deported.

• Dean John Perri, 34, who is serving a 63-month sentence for being a felon in possession of a firearm.

• Roberto Rosilio-Jauregui, 31, who is serving a 57-month sentence for re-entering the country after being deported.

the woman who murdered my daughter, lynn woolever, popularly known as rambo, was released from prison on may 2. she served about two years and two and one-half months for the life of a 21-year-old innocent. it appears that the above list documents sentences in excess of rambo's four years for crimes that did not involve the loss of human life.

there's a lot i don't know. but i do know for sure that bekah was not is not chopped liver. what the court did in the case of her killer could conceivably lead a person to think that the loss of bekah's life was not a big thing. not as big, for instance as re-entering the country after being deported. wrong.

i haven't been writing. til today. i have a job lined up for tuesday and probably a promising interview for a permanent part time position tomorrow. money came through when the situation was close to unbearably desperate. so i was feeling good, reciting affirmations at myself, making myself smile, trying to be the bright spot in the dark mud of life for others as well as myself.

then the bright lights in the rearview, the fear [eek i have an fta floating around - somewhere around inglewood - tags, insurance, from the days of not attending, which still return from time to time, albeit for shorter periods of time] - the ticket! which will cost. and tyler was with me and there was no looking at the bright side in my fear.

for a number of years - mmm, i guess about 1990 to 1997 - it seemed i was living under a dark star. if it was bad, and it was possible, it happened. my life exploded, but that was 'cause of the big things. but to give an example of what i mean, i had three flat tires in one week. was forced to replace the engine in my car twice in one year. and various other assorted sundry disasters, many, many of them.

so knowing there was an order existing for my arrest and then the policeman taking what felt like forever to figure out what he was going to do with me, i actually told tyler that i might be taken to jail. if i could turn back time and bite my dumb ass tongue yes i would. i should have just smiled and said everything's gonna be fine sweetie...but no.

i have apparently lost my optimism. my children range in age from 12 to 28 and the grandbabies are 5 and 7. i used to reassure the kids! i promised them nothing was going to happen, not to me for ages and ages, and not to them for forever from my perspective. i felt confident reassuring them; i believed myself. then this rash of disaster, a teetering recovery, then:

the unthinkable the unbearable. and godammit it was true. how could it ever again be "all good?" there's gotta be a way. bekah's been dead for almost three years and i cannot find words to express the truth that i cannot believe that. because "i cannot believe that" is something i say fairly often, seems like i hear it from others regularly, but in this case it is just so profoundly so.

okay so back to good news: he gave me a ticket, fix it on the insurance, a fine on tyler not being in a car seat [which i'm going to have to sound his father for that; i was truthfully under the impression that he was legal to sit in the seat], and cut us loose. sigh........................:)

i'm sorry tyler. it's all good. everything's gonna be hunky-dory. this you grandma telling you so you know. all good
- posted by barbara @ 5/29/2004 10:59:00 AM