Monday, March 15, 2004
I Love You God Bless You Anthony
one of Luisa's son's murderers got life without parole. her victim impact statement:
You and jr. murdered my son Anthony. You made that choice. I don’t comprehend it, I don’t ever want to comprehend that kind of evil. Why the violence?
I can almost understand being in a gang… the camaraderie, selling drugs… the money, and graffiti… making a territorial mark. But murder, no I don’t get the point. Are you a better person for it? After the murder did your life improve, were you looked up to?
I cry for my son everyday. There is not a second that goes by that I don’t think about him. Everyday I can not believe that he is gone from this earth. My heart aches because I miss him so.
I’d like to introduce my son Anthony to everyone in this courtroom. For those of you who will never get a chance to meet him, I feel sad. For those of us who have met him, we have been blessed to have known him. Also sad because we miss him.
Anthony was born November 27th, 1978, it was the Monday after Thanksgiving. I remember it being a beautiful autumn day. He was born around sunset and when I first laid my eyes on him I felt so much joy and love in my heart I yelled out in praise and said “Thank You God”.
I even remember the doctor saying, “God is amazing, he created the universe, and still creates new everyday.” I was only 19 and when I was pregnant with Anthony I also remember being very afraid. Afraid of bringing a child into this world filled with violence and evil. I never wanted any of the bad in this world to touch him. I never wanted him to get hurt by it. I always, always wanted to protect him. I prayed and I always asked God to guide him and keep him. “Let Anthony always follow in your light, Dear God”.
I’d always say to Anthony, “I Love You, God Bless You” and he’d always say it right back. Even as an adult.
Growing up Anthony was always a very cute happy and rambunctious little boy. Full of energy, life and love! Always giving his mommy and friends plenty of hugs. He made friends easily. Being an only child for most of his life, he always wanted lots of friends around him. We’d have a sleepover just about every weekend. He cared deeply about others. He’d cry when he saw homeless people on the street and not understand why the world has to be like that. He’d give the shirt off his back to help a friend in need and sometimes people took that kindness for weakness and took advantage of him. But he’d never hold a grudge, he was quick to forgive. He’s rather make people laugh, and he did! He was comedic and loved a good time. He was a wonderful son.
As an adolescent he went through his share of growing pains. A little rebellious at times, but nothing major. He never joined any gangs, nor ever had any interest. As a matter of fact he despised violence and believed only in “LOVE & PEACE”. He didn’t like “closed mindedness” either.
Anthony had many hopes and dreams, one of them was to be a father someday. I knew he would be an excellent father because he had so much love in his heart and soul and he was such an awesome big brother to his little brother, who was sixteen years younger than him and is now brother less because of you and jr.
Another dream was to be a music producer. He once told me that, “mom, music is my life”. He had graduated earlier that same year (2000) from Los Angeles Recording Workshop in North Hollywood. He did extremely well there because he loved learning about his love: music.
He definitely had a free spirit and was always very spiritual. He was taking a piano class at Glendale City College. While he was pursuing his dreams of music he supported himself by working at Pier One Imports in La Canada. He was growing restless since he had worked there for almost three years and was ready for a change, so he had just got a job at the Wherehouse Music Store right before he was murdered. As a matter of fact the manager phoned and left a message on his voice mail “to come on in to work now” a couple of days after he was killed. Do you know what that did to me?
Anthony had a lot of friends, the girls loved him and the guys admired him. He was a “cool dude”.
Anthony was only 21 years old and would have been 22 that November 27th, 2000. He moved out of his family home at the end of August. Just about two months before he was murdered.
He wanted to be independent and grow into adulthood. The only way to really learn is by doing. He had the opportunity to rent a back studio unit from a long time friend of his. He was really happy to be independent. I helped him get a few new things he needed for his place. We went to Ikea together one late September day. We had fun picking out the shower curtain and matching accessories, I even bought him the futon sleeper couch as an early birthday gift, never imagining that two months and one week later he would be shot while laying on it. I can’t help but feel like I let him out to the wolves and the wolves ate him up. I’ve felt so many times that if only he hadn’t have moved out he would he would not have been murdered. I blamed myself for letting him move out, I blamed my husband for making him move out. But ultimately I know the truth is the only people to blame are the murderers, you and jr.
Anthony was, Anthony is my whole life…as our children should be. He is a part of me. I’ve always loved him, before he was born, as he walked this earth, and now in heaven. For you see, the love never dies.
You and Jr. murdered my son, you can not murder the love. I feel him at times so strongly around me it gives me strength to make it through one more day. I raised Anthony many years by myself as a single parent. We have a bond like none other.
Anthony being as loving as he was, was also color blind. I don’t think he had a hateful bone in his body. I know that when he spoke to those gang members working on that roof next door to his home…he probably knew that they were gangs members, but he didn’t care because knowing him he looked at them as individuals, fellow human beings first. He was being really nice to them. Call it naive, he didn’t know that they were actually monsters.
You see I know you and Jr. did not know Anthony. You thought he had money and, or drugs? He worked at Pier One, money burned a hole in his pocket, the same with weed.
I don’t wish this pain I’m going through on anyone, not even my worst enemy. I never had any enemies until you and jr. came along. I’d have to say that you fit that category…for you have hurt me more then I ever imagined I could be hurt in this life time. Does that give you satisfaction? The tragedy, the pain, and the agony that you and jr. have caused? You see when you and jr. murdered my son, you put him straight into heaven, and you put me straight into hell, hell right here on earth. Because of devils like you. You and jr. are cowards, evil cowards, cowards of the worst kind.
I can’t begin to describe all of the pain and devastation that you jr. have caused in our lives. I am very clear that you did not pull the trigger, that it was jr. but you helped him and I believe you knew what he was capable of.
Believe me, I know what role you played in my son’s murder…you may be in denial thinking you’re not guilty because you didn’t pull the trigger. But you know very well that jr. would not have been up there at my son’s apartment if you hadn’t have driven him up there in Lucy’s van. And then you and jr. snuck up to his door and one of you kicked the apartment door in, at two am in the morning. That must have woke him out of a deep sleep for he didn’t even have a chance to jump out of bed. He was supposed to at work at 6 am that morning. You and jr. went on to try and rob him, but he had nothing…is that why you shot him? You had to leave with something, so you left with his blood? Or did you plan on killing him from the beginning? You and jr. murdered an innocent, defenseless man in his bed. You think that’s tough? NO! That’s coward, evil coward. So you’re probably scared of jr. knowing that it’s all too easy for him to pull a trigger. Is that why you won’t tell the truth?
My hope and my prayer is that someday you and jr. will comprehend just how evil and stupid murder really is. Maybe while you’re in prison you’ll join Criminals and Gangs Anonymous and do the twelve steps. And when you get to step 8 & 9: making a list of all those you’ve harmed and make amends to such people. You won’t be able to do that for Anthony and Chris will you? You can never fix murder. Just like I’m seeking justice diligently, I know that tragically nothing will bring my baby back to me, but I have to say that it gives my heart a little bit of comfort knowing that one less evil person, namely you, is walking the streets to harm another mother’s child.
I want you to know one more thing, that as I sat here throughout the whole trial, not once did I pray for your conviction, I prayed only for the truth to be revealed in this court room, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help us God!
And all those people who lied for you helped to reveal the truth.
You and jr. are very ugly and evil inside for you were able you take a mother’s child.
Your family may be in denial also, but they must realize, that they should not be mad at Cruz for doing the right thing, they should only be mad you for doing the wrong thing. I feel Cruz was an answer to my prayers, because I used to drive around Highland Park just crying and crying and asking God to “please touch someone’s heart because I know someone knows something”.
I want you to ask yourself everyday for the rest of your life in prison, do you think it’s cool that you’re doing time for what jr. ultimately did? While he’s walking free?
If there is any redeeming quality in you, you will tell the truth now.
If you don’t confess and repent now, you and your family know that when you die, you will be going straight to hell.
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Comments by: YACCS