You Live Your Life As If It's Real
i've been painting pictures that surprise me because i like them.
this morning i had a dream that was vivid and seemed powerful. there was a woman in it dressed to the nines obviously successful. she gave me this wonderful cupcake to eat, with chocolate mousse inside a fruity cake. told me about motivation, events, nothing cannot be risen above. i told her i had something. my daughter was murdered, july, 2001, i said. she had a friend, first we were at the beach, later, in a mall. her daughter talked to me, a young dark-haired girl. don't remember what. then her little boy, telling me, it's good to have faith - i remember feeling a little bit of the pissed i get about having this "god" shoved up in my face all the time - and i said, i have faith in myself. i have faith in bekah.

he said, okay. i woke up - the tv was on. jayson williams shot a man and tried to call it suicide. i wondered if i will ever get beyond the big dark wail. pictures of gays being married were flashed before me. i wondered why this is objectionable to anyone? who does it threaten? are these couples gauging the price of gasoline [i paid 2.10 a gallon last night, and it was the cheapest price i could find]? are they sending our children all over the world to kill and be killed so they can stay rich and powerful?

what is the argument against gay marriage? it bothers you? shouldn't that just go under the heading of "tough shit" and we all go on our way?

and why must we argue over this when the only reason it ever becomes a matter of life and death is when those opposed wreak violence on those unopposed or so engaged? and gw bush is still president!? acting like it's an issue at the same time he spins lies out of his mouth repeatedly as if it's okay to lie.

there is so much i don't get.

doodling without signature
- posted by barbara @ 2/24/2004 06:52:00 AM