barbtries a blog: <a href="http://forums.delphiforums.com/ExIcoc_support/messages/?msg=3121.1">Ex-ICC Forum

Wednesday, December 31, 2003

Ex-ICC Forum - Ex-Members of the ICC #3121.41

another cult refugee expressed the belief that to heal, ex-members MUST forgive. i responded

i used to believe that....

then my daughter was murdered, by an enraged drunken
woman who did all she could to avoid paying the consequences
for her crime and to this day has not admitted that she
recklessly and maliciously caused my innocent daughter's
death.

i go to grief counseling. one of the big issues i have
needed to work on is forgiveness, because i always
had believed that if i could not forgive this -
this thing, which is actually a human being, though
her actions belie it - i would go on to my own death
bitter and ruined. ruined by my own lack of forgiveness.

but what she did was unforgivable, certainly without repentance. there has been no repentance, no admission of guilt, no apology, no remorse,
nothing. i think the situation is analogous to many icc
leaders who continue to exploit the unsuspecting seekers
they encounter, entice, and exploit for their own gain
alone. how can they be forgiven when they are still so
dedicated to something so WRONG?

the father of a young man murdered about 16 years
ago explained it best to me. his son's killer has
been identified and never brought to justice for
lack of evidence, though the detective keeps the
file in his briefcase to this day. he wrote to me
that at some point his wife and he realized that
someday this person may seek their forgiveness...
until and unless that day came to pass, they simply
had to let it go, for the sake of their own mental
health.

that is what i strive to do. let it go for the sake
of my own mental health. for the sake of my own mental
health i fully embrace the belief that justice will be
done whether here or on the other side [my daughter's
murderer will be out of prison in feb 2004 after
serving only two years].

some things are not forgivable. so we strive to let
them go so that we can go on, and live.

barbara

- posted by barbara @ 12/31/2003 02:22:00 AM

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