email to andy, in VA for the holidays
hey. i miss you.

christmas? bah humbug. after losing a week up north i got sick and just started shopping day before yesterday. but yesterday i all but got done with $110 at the 99 cent store.

i miss you.

this christmas...no bekah, no andy....

i haven't gotten anything for you andy! and i should have put a care package in the mail - i'm sorry i didn't! if i do, what do you want?

i almost picked up the platinum version of CS - you know, the one with counterstrike, blue something, this and that - for rory, then i thought he already pretty much has all this, he's already playing online? is there a reason to buy an updated version? anyway i didn't do it. but should i?

i think about the last thing i need to do [can afford to do!] is to get a gift certificate for paintball for rory and john and denise. slim pickings this year. i spent quite a fortune this year, traveled a lot, enjoyed it too...for the first time in my adult life i have an adequate wardrobe. but we're back on the poverty train...:( the last of the settlement is in bobby's hands, hopefully it will last a little longer that way.

so. 01-04-04 i officially begin my studies toward my bachelor of fine arts. i got two books and some software [including MS office pro] yesterday. i am ready! going to school, since i grew up that is, is the time i feel most vital. i love learning actually.

not that i'm not always learning anyhow. all of life is a learning experience. i think that approach is part of what i needed to even attempt let alone effect a recovery of sorts from losing bekah. so from the start i was trying to divine what the lessons were in this massive grief...but the structure of formal schooling adds an element and a goal that i find energizing. you know?

once again, john's phone number is xxx-xxx-xxxxx, CALL US ON CHRISTMAS MORNING! you will be in my heart if not in my sight but your absence cuts me, son.

i love you
mom
- posted by barbara @ 12/23/2003 01:09:00 PM