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barbtries a blog
Monday, September 22, 2003
the guardian
The global hierarchy of race
The dominant race in a society, whether white or otherwise, rarely admits to its own racism. Denial is near universal. The reasons are manifold. It has a huge vested interest in its own privilege. It will often be oblivious to its own prejudices.

this sentence jumped out at me while reading this long article. i want to lose the privilege and meet people as people wherever i go.

on the day the simi valley jury acquitted the police in the case of
rodney king, i decided that i would no longer deny being a racist. this is not the same as embracing the racist in me; it reflects my determination not to kowtow to denial. how can we lose racism if we deny its existence?

when i was younger i was attracted to "ethnic" men: my first true love was italian, i married a jew who was born in israel. since my divorce i find i am attracted to black men almost to the exclusion of all others. i wonder why.

sometimes i describe myself as a black woman in a white body, and there is something to that [biographical parallels], but i don't think that is the end of the story. at other times i wonder if i'm just trying to "put my money where my mouth is," if my desire to see my ideals realized has infected my eyes. but it seems to me that if that were the case, the attraction would be false. it is not false; it is real, and does not seem to be changing.

so at this point i just back off myself, and say, hey. people are attracted to people for whatever reason...she likes men with beards, he likes women with big tits, etc. i like black men. so be it.
after midnight

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