bekah


my daughter, born 07-06-80 and murdered on 07-19-01. for her funeral obituary we used two pictures taken by her friend [one of "bekah's boys" as i refer to the four young men who were in love with bekah when she died] gabe, a gifted photographer. the picture shown above the title of my blog is the one on the front and is also the one i share most often. an enlarged print was placed on bekah's casket since it had to be closed...anyway. i call that one the movie star. the second one, taken on the same day, i call the saint.

Bekah collected quotations and on the front of her little booklet under the picture of bekah as movie star we put, "Always dance as if no one is watching." On the back, accompanying the print of Bekah as saint:

in judgment: wisdom
in action: resolution
in adversity: fortitude
in success: humility

in all things: courage

i chose these quotes from bekah's own collection of quotes, which she kept in little notebooks devoted just to that. on the inside of her obituary instead of the ubiquitous 23rd psalm, we shared this poem written by bekah just two short months before she died.

Wake up one morning with a
clear head
The sun today decides to be my
friend
My mind is free, my thoughts
have resolution
I was spiraling downward,
wondering
Will this craziness come to an
end?
Or am I stuck here with this
blank look on my face?
Suddenly, I was out of place
Trying to keep up, maintain
myself, be a part of it all
But in my mind...
My mind was in another place,
numerous places, like
What am I doing here? Is this
what I want? Is this for real?
It's kinda scary to be
unsure of what you feel
The purple haze
fades away, and now I see
Translucent, white,
fresh and bright
Thank god, for a moment
I was in a time warp,
I was back there again
A feeling once so familiar
and good
Now so foreign and wrong
So I open my eyes and look
my chance in the face
I've pushed my limits, again &
again
Let's see how far I can go this time...
and This time, and This time
And I look up and see Chance,
my Chance
A chance, a light that many
people never see
A light That came down on me
My dreams, my reality
I see me and I reach for
my hand
Guide me to the right path
I will

i hope if you've read this you have a little better sense of my girl and how wonderful she was...and forgive me, i just miss her right now.
- posted by barbara @ 9/21/2003 08:20:00 AM