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barbtries a blog
Wednesday, October 30, 2002
Time For Your Meds!
Today's Truth

there is almost a zeitgeist about this emotional/mental unrest.
do you think it stems from the powers that be? and all the craziness
emanating from that quarter? i yelled at my dear, sweet, such-loved
daughter-in-law today...no, not AT her, because she was not the
object of my rage, but she was the one listening.

i went to counseling; i recommend it heartily. i discussed the
reality of the second year of bereavement being worse than the
first. because how low i feel at times, no i could not begin to
express. i cried because i might lose another child before i die,
and was assured that this is a normal reaction to grief, that
immediately upon such a tragic abrupt loss the survivors
begin to prepare for the next one. but i fought back as i always do, saying, "it's BOGUS!"

it is not something one can prepare for. so our minds prepare,
just as my mind did before bekah died, as if it was actually
accomplishing something when in reality, i might as well sit
down here and worry and regret for the rest of my natural life.
because that "preparation" is bogus when the reality cannot be
prepared for.

in reality.

there is no way

i may not have a job yet, but i do not feel as alone as i did a
few hours ago. hope comes back.

but i still don't have a job. writer for hire. writer for hire.
will work for ISP. lol

i would like to make a change in my world before i die. save
one child - one mother.

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