"He that lacks time to mourn, lacks time to mend.
Eternity mourns that. ’T is an ill cure
For life’s worst ills, to have no time to feel them.
Where sorrow’s held intrusive and turned out,
There wisdom will not enter, nor true power,
Nor aught that dignifies humanity."
- Sir Henry Taylor
An Amateur Mourning Map for Mothers of the Recently Murdered

This poem attempts to live up to its title and says, "mourning begins at Shock Summit...."
Since writing the poem [as of today i intend for my book to carry the same title], i have thought more on that subject, and after making a painting [see 08-08-02] that set me on this train of thought, i have imagined some of the information that might be provided to the newly bereaved upon their thrust to "Shock Summit":

STOP. You are here: SHOCK SUMMIT, Universal Gateway to the Hills of Horror, One-Way road to the grief of sudden bereavement at the hands of a human,

Entrance to hell.

Proceed to the mortuary. Mothers please stop at the trough of tormented thought for a map and a handbook.

For ALL visitors to Shock Summit:
This is the first stop of a journey you did not expect and could not prepare for. A loved one has been killed. Mourning is ahead of you and is a journey of pain, tears, and soul-searching.
The bereaved mothers among you will find your voyage more treacherous than any other you have ever or will ever embark on, as it includes many months of mourning in hell. Mothers of Murder Victims will return to life only after successfully traversing the infamous Desert of Despair.

Many others of you will endure a shorter less intense stay in hell. For most, that will not last much beyond the loved one's funeral, though it will leave an impression possibly deep enough to change your life.

As you move toward and from the mortuary you will find both before and after the funeral, "early exits" or "avoidances" from/of your grief. It has been revealed that bereaved people occasionally are either unwilling or [they maintain] unable to grieve sufficiently to re-enter life with enthusiasm they experienced before tragedy impacted it.

These early exits are Denial and/or Bitterness. It is stressed that only Mourning offers an opening to life. Denial and Bitterness are simply emotional cul-de-sacs, and if you do choose either road, your trip back to life will take more time.

It is repeated: Grief is assuaged via Mourning. No other route can or will provide the bereaved the emotional completion and spiritual reconciliation that mourning your tragedy will.


- posted by barbara @ 10/18/2002 12:21:00 PM