she wanted to sleep as long as she wanted to sleep...ugh. i got to get my ass in gear and git!!!!!!!!
to beverly hills and back, and i don't wanna. it sucks. because it is really just fucking laziness. i have no excuse. i have not been edifying my mind. not very dedicatedly any way.
any way. tell bekah i love her; tell bekah i need her...i have faith because without it i would never see her again...but sometimes it feels very shaky. like hang on to those dreams mom! cause you know, well. i just know what i know and believe what i believe. they are not the same thing. the certitude of absolute unswerving faith - that was my belief that i would die before any of my children. and i did not even know it! i mean it was not until bekah died that i realized what i took to be lesson one. that was that although i knew logically that it was a possibility, in my heart of hearts, all the way down to my soul, what i knew better than any other thing was that it would never happen.
it happened. oh. oh. it happened....
- posted by barbara @ 5/28/2002 01:59:00 PM